I genuinely think that 2015 was the year that I learnt the most in my whole life and perhaps, dare I say it even, grew “up”. I’d gotten over the bleary, sleep-deprived, puppy love experience of having a newborn and constant comparing and conferring with other new mums about the amount my baby was sleeping / crying / feeding / pooping and started to discover my mothering style and in turn discover who I now was as a wife, mother, daughter, friend and woman. Sure, there were ups and downs but things seemed more stable, and in turn more beautiful. Maternity leave was a joy, we went backpacking around South Africa, Jack turned 1, I returned back to the my job four days a week, Summer came and went, I turned 30 – a big and happy milestone for me, I fell pregnant again (yikes!) and Christmas and New Year have been ahaze with sofa, movies and carbs whilst Jack is making us laugh out loud every day and turning into the most awesome boy.
But there is a lot of growing to do still (there always is, right?) so based mainly on listening to others, because I think quite simply that is how you *really* learn about yourself warts and all, here are my 10 Intentions for 2016:
1. Don’t compete, complement: As a parent, it’s easy to think that one person is “doing” more to contribute to the puzzle of life than the other (even if the puzzle of life is just about getting everyone out the house). However, I have learnt that by giving more to a situation (you being the one to get out of bed) you actually get more back (a longer lie in the next day – unless you have a partner who really takes the biscuit) so basic as it sounds, I want to strive even further to work as a team to make us an even stronger and happier unit.
2. Appreciation: Everyone loves a kind word or gesture whether that’s a handwritten card in the post or just being told how good a job they are doing. I don’t think I currently do enough of a good job on this front so…colleagues if you’re reading this, expect more cups of tea and Sam, my husband, you rock my world.
3. Don’t compare myself with anyone else. It’s a real killer, and so counter-productive. Everyones’ situation and reality is entirely different and we know that, so why bother comparing? It’s a total waste of time and emotion.
4. Keep a lid on the drama: Bringing unnecessary drama to a situation is something I hate, and yet I find myself doing it from time to time (usually when I am underslept or pregnant!) I know it’s more than likely just my hormones having a bit of a rave inside of me but I want to make sure I cut this out entirely for 2016 or at least, know when it’s happening and control it.
5. Scroll less, stare more: Working on a screen is one thing but mindless scrolling of social media (Facebook especially) actually feels wrong. When I have a spare minute or two I am going to resolve to just be in the moment, to not pull out my phone to begin peeking at other peoples’ lives but to just sit with the time and enjoy it. Not only is it relaxing but it actually serves to empty the mind (as opposed to Facebook checking, which is purely cluttering the mind) Every Friday we now have a ritual whereby we are screen-free all evening (trust me, it’s harder than it sounds, unfortunately). But the result is quite beautiful. I just find myself staring at Jack as he plays with his trains and really watching how he pushes the little choo choo train back and forth on a piece of track giving myself a feeling of warmth and immense satisfaction that he is enjoying his Christmas gift instead of mindlessly flicking through social media as I may have done on another night. Sam and I get into bed, read the papers and have early, cosy nights. It’s bliss.
6. Focus on my blog: This blog brings me a lot of contentment, but to date I’ve not been good at scheduling my content and generally prioritising it. I really want this to change this year and hope to push myself to the next level with Mamalina. Watch this space, folks and thank you so much for all your support up to this point.
7. Challenge myself in new ways: Last year I taught myself movie editing and this year I really want to step it up and learn more sophisticated editing to up my game on that front. Any ideas for where to start much appreciated!
8. Carve out me time: I think women can be particularly bad at this somehow always letting something or someone else (normally the kiddo) get in the way. But I have learnt if you really carve it out, it is possible and your nails can actually get filed and painted and you can get that half an hours of yoga in.
9. Spend time with older people in the family. I have untold amount of respect for older people, I love hearing their stories of relatives now long gone and love stories unfolding at underground parties during the Blitz. I resolve to spend more time with the older generation this year and in turn bring each other happiness.
10. Write more: Yes I use this blog as a sort of journal but I can’t help but think that “this” is not fully real and that one day it will ultimately be lost in the ether. I have a diary for Jack which I write in infrequently but I want to ensure I remain close to it and actually put pen to paper at least a few times a month.
So that’s it. My 10 intentions for the year 2016 to keep my mind healthy and happy. I’d love to hear what yours are and if we have any of the same so pop me a comment below. Thanks for reading and have a great day 🙂