Sam and I have been married for coming up to 4 years and known each other for 15 (we met at school though haven’t been together exclusively since then…) and yet I still learn new things about him everyday, and never more so now that we are embarking on this one stop party train called parenthood. I started compiling a mental list of ‘learnings’ about him and it began to grow – so partly to remind myself of the things that make him ‘him’ (in other words that he doesn’t really mean to leave empty cups of tea everywhere) and also because I’m sure that some of his traits are universal to all men, I thought I would share it on here. So yes – this post contains HUGE generalisations plus a lot of first world problems but take a read and let me know if any of these things ring true to a particular special male in your life. Oh, and I hope some of it might even bring a wee smile to your lips too…
1. They mean what they say
When he asks me, “is it OK if I go out tonight?”, I reply “yes”, but underneath I often really mean “ummmmmm, you were out last night and I was counting on you to do bath and bed time tonight”. Why do we do it? In contrast, when I ask him something, he will reply straight up. For example: Me: “Does my hair look greasy?” Him: “yes.” That being said….
2. They’re sometimes shit at communication on the go
Whereas I feel like I’m constantly updating him on my whereabouts (I seem to always be texting saying something along the lines of “2 minutes away!”), I sometimes find it’s 7.30pm, I need reinforcements, I need wine, and I need him but no real idea where he is (inevitably just busy at work and not checking his phone). I do sometimes just wish he’d text me to update me how much longer I gotta hang in there. Any other men out there kinda bad at touching base just when you need them?
3. Men and women cope with tiredness *differently*
When I’m underslept I find that I get sensitive to *everything*, whereas Sam just goes kind of silent and spends A LOT of time staring at his phone. He literally just stops talking and retreats into a screen and mumbles every so often. And when he is SUPER tired because he lets me drive.
4. They’re not good at compliments
Maybe this really is just Sam (insert emoticon with weird diagonal frowning eyebrows) but getting my dude to say summat complimentary is almost as difficult as wiping 4 day old weetabix off Jack’s breakfast table. That is, pretty bloody tough. That said, when he does comment on something, it is special and I do tend to turn into a lovestruck teenager.
5. They don’t like nagging but they do like direction
I find I can pretty much ask anything of Sam if I do it in a ‘chilled’ way, but if I fall into a ‘moany’ tone (my words, not his), it’s a bit more tricky. That said, I recently heard the phrase “if they’re nagging, then you’re lagging” which I now love (and totally agree with – ha!) though needless to say when I regaled Sam with my new line he didn’t agree!
6. They just don’t have same attention to detail in the home
I’m certainly not a tidy person but it’s the small things that I seem to pick up on that Sam just doesn’t (or does but chooses to ignore?) Finished loo rolls, one discarded sock and beer bottle lids…please just throw ’em away my love.
7. They love live sport
There is literally nothing Sam enjoys more than sitting down with a cup of tea to watch some sport (preferably alone). My equivalent is reading a magazine whilst nibbling on dark chocolate. What’s yours?
8. Daddy is still a bit more exciting than mummy
He just is. And I’m totes OK with that. My relationship with my children is different to theirs with their dad – and that’s the way it should be.
9. They like to stay up late
Don’t get me wrong; I dream about staying up with a bottle of wine, getting slowly tipsy whilst watching a film before flopping into bed with my loved one. The reality: a frantic and silent teeth brushing, a breastfeed and then a good twenty minutes of rocking to sleep before I dive into bed to catch 45 mins of sleep before Sonny is awake again. (he’s going through a super bad patch of sleeping as you may have seen me moaning about over on my Instagram)
10. They do flippin’ love us
We drive them crazy at times with occasional nagging and weird modes of communication, and they sometimes send us a little cray cray by leaving all sorts of bodily hair (oh wait, I definitely do that too….) everywhere and staying up past our bedtime, but shit the bed, they do love us.
So that’s it – my 10 ‘learnings’ on this weird and wonderful old thing of mine called a relationship. This is a bit of a different blog post for me – it’s a lot more personal – so I hope you enjoyed it. Writing it certainly made me realise how much we actually in common, just often expressed in different ways…
Thanks for reading as ever and leave me a comment to say hey / share your experience – I’d love to hear from you.
*ok, maybe just mine but maybe some of them remind you of a special male in your life..!