Can We Have A Heart To Heart?

So. I’m currently in the process of transforming into a not-so-stay-at-home mum and full time blogger. I’m morphing as a person, going through some pretty big changes, many of which I’m sharing with you. I am in the social media world which means I am social, when I want to be (currently sitting in the waiting room at the dentist about to have part of my gums shaven off, didn’t ya know). Instagram is my real life but its not my full life.

Flash back to 2 years ago and the main criticism levelled at bloggers was that their content was not “real” enough. People felt alienated by photos of women sitting in immaculate living rooms with a throw casually draped over a wicker chair. “My home doesn’t look like that”, was echoing through the minds of people and sometimes, even the comments sections of Instagram. Nowadays, and thanks to the emergence of Instagram Stories during the Summer of 2016, we’ve got our hit of ‘real’ and we’re all sharing more and more authentic, raw stuff. So far, so good.

But now there’s a new type of ‘real’ that followers are wanting and it’s a deeper, more meaningful, more gritty one that lands slap bang in your direct messages*. Now it’s about ads, and it’s about identity. It’s about “did she get paid to post that photo of a bar of soap?” and “but hang on, you said you’re vegan but you’re eating cake in that photo”. It’s about apps that tell you whose unfollowed you. It’s about beating the almighty algorithm

People want 100% transparency, and they want consistency. And whilst I can promise you the first, I can’t attest to the second. I’ve written before about how truthfulness is paramount to me. I show real life. And sometimes real life CAN be (and look like) a fairytale; sometimes it can be a pile of laundry and mop of greasy hair. Journeying one week to America; the next week to Aldi. Hiking boots one day; high heels the next. Wearing a leather bag (albeit second hand) in one photo; discussing a vegan toothpaste in another. Staying in canvas tents one Summer; the occasional cushy hotels the next. Whilst I might show you a corner of my kitchen, I’m not (yet) ready to give you a tour of our home. I have my own moral compass which I use to guide what I do, where I go, what I buy, how I work. (And to be clear, I turn down freebies most of the time, and say no to working with brands on a regular basis. Hartley jelly containing pork gelatin? Not on my grid.) And whilst challenging people in a controlled way is something I welcome and is changing the world in unforseen ways, being judgmental in a mode that someone would never do in the real world is not

The problem is, people want to put people in boxes. “Ah! she’s the flexible working mum/ she’s the Earth mum / she’s the mum who talks about mental health.” And the problem is, that’s not how people work and that’s not how life works. I do promise that when things are important or interesting or relevant to you, I’ll update you because I have a responsibility to do so – I realise I have a ‘voice’: “I’ve decided to be an antisocial vegan”, “#Hosted”, “I quit my job“. But in the words of Clemmie Telford, “I am not a public service”. I’m a person and I truthfully and unapologetically share what I want to share (and work hard doing so). I’m journeying, learning and transforming every day. And I’d love you to be here too (just please don’t bite)

 Emma xx

P.S How And Why To Buy In Bulk and A Zero Routine Holiday Day in The Life 

 

* OK, this has happened to me once but cripes, did it get me thinking. And kinda mad.

12 Comments

  1. Tina McLoughlin
    September 1, 2018 / 6:03 pm

    May i please hv your newsletters thank you Emma. X

  2. August 19, 2018 / 12:38 pm

    I’ve only just discovered your blog – through your BBC appearance which I loved btw – and am thankful to see such an honest, joyful and heartfelt account of (the ups and downs of) motherhood, trying to live a sustainable life and all that encompasses. Reading your posts turns down my OCD having to do everything perfect and just trying to be with what I am. So, what I want to say is, is inspiring, just as this post is. As another blogger/instagrammer, I wholeheartedly agree. Thank you dear lady, for letting your light shine. x

    • Emma Ross
      Author
      August 20, 2018 / 12:49 pm

      ah im so happy you found your place to my blog, and that it is able in some small way to help you. sending all the love on this fine monday, and i do hope yours has started well. pls dont hesitate to reach out to me for anything and thanks again for being here 🙂

  3. Sarah
    July 3, 2018 / 4:58 pm

    I love this post!

    • Emma Ross
      Author
      July 10, 2018 / 2:33 pm

      <3 xxx

  4. Aimee
    March 31, 2018 / 10:52 pm

    I am by no means a mum (yet), however I am a early childhood teacher and my goodness your content on both here and instagram gives me so much inspiration. More often than not I find myself getting bogged down by routines; we have a big white board of nappie changes, meals and naps where when how why etc etc. I often find myself on the floor playing with the children and being present in the moment when I snap back to reality and remember someone probably needs a nap/bottle/nappy change and it can get overwhelming when there are 15 babies and toddlers who all need their needs met equally. After reading about your zero plans days (which sound so lovely!) I took on board this kind of thinking with my teaching and it allowed me to tune myself more into the childrens needs as the come and go, and it flowed and felt significantly less stagnant and robotic: not so much nappy change, bottle, bed, lunch, nappy change but more free play followed by whatever needs to come next. So thank you so much! I can imagine that having your heart on your sleeve out to the social media world is hard, I find doing that at work with plenty of small children quite draining some days, however you have helped me develop as a teacher and morph more into the kind of person/teacher (because, lets be honest, those are the same thing) I want to be. I love your content, its open and honest. Especially about the being ‘vegan’; I mostly eat vegan, however I do occasionally eat things containing dairy because that is what currently works for my lifestyle and it can be hard in the ‘vegan’ community for people to accept that without receiving criticism. Again, thank you for doing what you are doing.

    • Emma Ross
      Author
      April 2, 2018 / 11:34 pm

      Hi Aimee – ah what a lovely message and so glad we have connected on this platform. You sound like an awesome teacher – any any parent would be lucky to have you look after their child. thanks for commenting and for being here x x

  5. Rachel
    March 28, 2018 / 10:29 am

    You are definitely the real deal, Emma. I love your blog and page – yours is the only one that I consistently follow. I’m a mum to a 3 year old and 4 month old so have to be discerning with my very limited Insta time! Keep doing what you are doing 🙂

    P.S – what’s happening with your gums?! Never heard of that procedure before….hope you’re ok. x

    • Emma Ross
      Author
      March 28, 2018 / 11:52 am

      Ah thanks Rachel – so pleased you’re here 🙂 Won’t go into the gum but it had to be burnt off – OUCH! Thanks again for reading and for your lovely comment x

  6. Avril
    March 28, 2018 / 4:54 am

    You rock. I’ve been saying recently how frustrated I am by some blogs/insta accounts I follow have gone from being or at least feeling like real people i could relate to, to too perfect all the time, too far removed from life, too many sponsors.
    You, for me, strike a brilliant balance.
    Hope the dentist wasnt too horrible.

  7. DMJ
    March 28, 2018 / 2:12 am

    Cracking post Em. No one could ever accuse you of not wearing your heart on your sleeve and being honest! I for one applaud wholeheartedly! There will always be people who want ‘more’ from bloggers and online celebs. Perhaps some people enjoy looking for any excuse to find fault in the world to make themselves feel better somewhow. It’s easy to be reductive and find fault if you really want to. It’s tougher sometimes to be expansive and take life (and bloggers) for what it is, to be at peace with that and allow people to express themselves however they wish. Keep doing what ya doing x

    • Emma Ross
      Author
      March 28, 2018 / 11:53 am

      Ah thanks DMJ! & how lovely to have you on here! Yes, do think it’s often a reflection of those people with a problem rather than anything and challenge is good but needless criticism is uncalled for. hope all well with G – i miss her! P.S Hopefully seeing you Sunday x

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